I'm confused now.I have been overwhelmed with this thought for few days. I think it has taken a big chunk of my life nowadays. When Ko Billy said every person has "keterikatan", I also have this kind of keterikatan. Ko Billy said his keterikatan is that he always wanted to continue his study in Germany, which he is doing right now.
I think keterikatan proves that I don't depend on Him. I can't enjoy the freedom that He has given and prefer to be bounded by something else. It's one of worst sin for Christian when keterikatan becomes your idol, which I think it's the case for me.
I'm in the state of refusing to let it go, I have hopes and dreams about it. I'm praying for His answer. I know that for every answer that He would give me, it would be very difficult for me. Am I ready to sacrifice? I still can't escape from my keterikatan, from my past, from the thought of my future. I think this is one of my "worst sin", I cannot escape from idolatry, I keep doing this although I know it's wrong. Forgive me, Lord. Let me surrender to Your will. Amen.
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